The Art of Dating – The First Date

In today’s modern world, one of the most common ways to find a date is hiding behind a computer screen or cell phone letting your semi-truthful profile do all the work for you. The rejection is minimal, not to mention unclear and difficult to sort out. In the end, you’re not sure if you were rejected by a virtual love interest, so you can choose denial and still live in a fantasy world.

The first date can really be described as the “What-the-Heck-and-I-Doing-Date?” If you like the person, you will spend 87% of the evening wondering if you should call this a date. You’ll spend the other 13% wondering if you’ll go out again. If you don’t like the person you’ll spend 100% of the time scheming about ways to escape. Some schemes may take more work than others when you are dealing with a Stage-Five-Clinger. If you do not know what a “Stage-Five-Clinger” is, there is a good chance that is you.

Because society hesitates to use “labels” anymore, how do you know when it’s a date? Here are a few ways to help clarify.

  • The guy pays
  • The two of you are alone
  • It raises curiosity amongst your closest friends
  • Your mom starts the process of booking the nearest church

While on the date, most people experience what I like to call The Duh Zone. This is where you have no idea what to say and when you do, it’s like you’re speaking in tongues. This is natural; so don’t cry about it. Your date is also in The Duh Zone. Chances are good they are equally distracted and awkward.

Sometimes, The Duh Zone can be less noticeable if you see this person in a group setting first. That way, it’s less awkward alone. Be careful hanging out in groups too much, as you might fall into The Friend Zone. This particular situation requires divine intervention. You best be on good terms with God Almighty if you’re in The Friend Zone if you hope to escape that situation with your friend crush.

The last thing people ask me is, “Do I kiss on the first date?” Well, I certainly don’t, but if you do, that’s your business.

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