Recently a friend told me toilet seat covers don’t prevent the spread of germs. Apparently they are relatively absorbent, making them permeable – and most viruses and bacteria are so small they have no trouble at all getting through the “protective” barrier of a toilet seat cover.
As a person with slight OCD, this news was life altering. I can never pee in public again. (Thanks “friend” that will go unnamed). The topic came up when I took a little longer to pee than her. I brought up the fact I use the seat cover so there is prep time. I’ll hold it before I ever sit on a seat with a pee stain. Putting a dissolvable piece of paper between the plastic seat and my big butt makes me feel better.
She went on to say, “I used to work in a hospital and the lady in charge of disease control told us toilet seat covers don’t stop germs.” I was still hesitant and close to hyperventilation at this point. I did what anyone would do, I Googled it. The results were not in my butt’s favor. Google said they don’t work. Now the proof was irrefutable. I’ve been living a lie.
A few months back, it was just any other day at work. I went to the little girl’s room but as I reached for the TP I noticed a little pool of water by the toilet. The toilet must be leaking, I thought. But then again, the puddle isn’t anywhere near the toilet, so where did that come from? My next thought filled me with dread as I slowly pulled my right pant leg out from under me noticing it was soaked.
The toilet wasn’t leaking, I was.
I sat there for quite some time wondering how this could happen. Did I literally just pee on myself? Does this happen to people past the age of five? What do I do now?
I realized the culprit had to be the toilet seat cover. I guessed the front part that is supposed to detach didn’t causing part of the seat cover to create a conduit for the pee to shoot between the toilet seat and the toilet bowl to the outside world….and my pant leg. I can’t think of any other viable option, but then again maybe I have a secret talent I never knew about.
Because I wasn’t thinking, I took a picture of my soggy pant leg and text it to a friend saying, “I just peed on myself.” To which she replied, “Seriously Cori? How does that even happen?” I immediately regretted the text.
Tweet: I don’t know why I thought she might be empathetic to my sanitary nightmare. – @lynncorey
I couldn’t exactly ask my boss to go home because I peed my pants. The only outcome was to try and avoid human contact and run back to my desk.
Frankly, if I had known using a toilet seat cover was useless in preventing germs, I wouldn’t have peed on myself that day. Oh who am I kidding? I still would have used the seat cover and I still would have peed on myself. The silver lining here is that God allows me to be in awkward situations on a daily basis to keep my humility in tact.
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