The Hazards of Using a Toilet Seat Cover

Recently a friend told me toilet seat covers don’t prevent the spread of germs. Apparently they are relatively absorbent, making them permeable – and most viruses and bacteria are so small they have no trouble at all getting through the “protective” barrier of a toilet seat cover.

As a person with slight OCD, this news was life altering. I can never pee in public again. (Thanks “friend” that will go unnamed). The topic came up when I took a little longer to pee than her. I brought up the fact I use the seat cover so there is prep time. I’ll hold it before I ever sit on a seat with a pee stain. Putting a dissolvable piece of paper between the plastic seat and my big butt makes me feel better.

She went on to say, “I used to work in a hospital and the lady in charge of disease control told us toilet seat covers don’t stop germs.” I was still hesitant and close to hyperventilation at this point. I did what anyone would do, I Googled it. The results were not in my butt’s favor. Google said they don’t work. Now the proof was irrefutable. I’ve been living a lie.

A few months back, it was just any other day at work. I went to the little girl’s room but as I reached for the TP I noticed a little pool of water by the toilet. The toilet must be leaking, I thought. But then again, the puddle isn’t anywhere near the toilet, so where did that come from? My next thought filled me with dread as I slowly pulled my right pant leg out from under me noticing it was soaked.

The toilet wasn’t leaking, I was.

 

I sat there for quite some time wondering how this could happen. Did I literally just pee on myself? Does this happen to people past the age of five? What do I do now?

I realized the culprit had to be the toilet seat cover. I guessed the front part that is supposed to detach didn’t causing part of the seat cover to create a conduit for the pee to shoot between the toilet seat and the toilet bowl to the outside world….and my pant leg. I can’t think of any other viable option, but then again maybe I have a secret talent I never knew about.

Because I wasn’t thinking, I took a picture of my soggy pant leg and text it to a friend saying, “I just peed on myself.” To which she replied, “Seriously Cori? How does that even happen?” I immediately regretted the text.

Tweet: I don’t know why I thought she might be empathetic to my sanitary nightmare. – @lynncorey

 

I couldn’t exactly ask my boss to go home because I peed my pants. The only outcome was to try and avoid human contact and run back to my desk.

Frankly, if I had known using a toilet seat cover was useless in preventing germs, I wouldn’t have peed on myself that day. Oh who am I kidding? I still would have used the seat cover and I still would have peed on myself. The silver lining here is that God allows me to be in awkward situations on a daily basis to keep my humility in tact.

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8 Comments

  1. Hannah Henry

    It happens to more ladies than you think. I will be 30 in May and just recently I have had a couple accidents, but in my defense, I have a horrid cough and a weak bladder. Get me into a coughing fit and oops! I tinkle in my pants Lol.

    Reply
    1. Cori (Post author)

      It does happen to the best of us doesn’t it? Now you know it can happen into your late 30s 😉

      Reply
  2. Tina

    Oh my goodness. I just snorted I was laughing so hard. I can SO relate!

    Reply
    1. Cori (Post author)

      Wait till you read the dentist blog coming out on 12/18 😉 Another situation you may relate too.

      Reply
  3. Donna

    Oh jeez lady! Yuck! You know, you could become rich and invent something that actually will prevent germs! Get on that will you? 😂

    Reply
    1. Cori (Post author)

      If you mean get on the toilet seat cover, I’ve been sitting on them for years. Its just never been working. 😉 haha jk.

      Reply
  4. Blake

    I feel like you should create a vital information blog section and put this one in there lol. But now I am afraid to use the restroom in public too. Too funny cor!!!!

    Reply
    1. Cori (Post author)

      As a fellow OCD sufferer, you feel my pain.

      Reply

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